Boogie Woogie (2009) *1/2

I

I am so sick of these fucking ensemble films. It was fresh and new in the '90's. Well here's a damn news flash: the '90's were ten years ago. Let's try to do something different or at least use a different structure. Instead we get a handful of people whose stories intersect each other at various times and places. I'm not complaining about that. I'm pissed because it's used to try to make a movie better than it actually is, which is the case with Boogie Woogie. Here's the plot: Christopher Lee owns a painting called the Boogie Woogie. Everyone wants to buy it in one way or another. All of those other people screw each other, literally or otherwise. That's the extent of this picture. Screwing. Everyone comes out screwed. The characters and the audiences. I spent a dollar and forty cents on this garbage and feel shafted myself. 

I'm not going to go over the cast because I just don't want to. Let's just say that they are too good to be in crap like this. It's becoming more and more common for high end Hollywood stars to do garbage by third rate studios in between big budget movies that have actually been nurtured. I'm not defending Hollywood, but let's face it.Going through reviews the low end films have been just as bad as the Hollywood product. Boogie Woogie follows in that trend. It's a movie about art that tries to be provocative, but it's not. It's just a slow, boring process where we run a title sequence, people act badly with bad dialogue and plot points, finally ending with the end credits and you can finally turn it off.

I try to avoid turning anything off. I will do myself by falling asleep, but that doesn't count. I'm talking about getting up and turning off the TV or leaving a theater. I can't do it. There's a movie sitting in my Blu ray right now that I said was a piece of shit a third of the way in, yet I'll probably finish it because I just have to know how bad this is going to be. It's like being a masochist. 

Sorry for going off on a tangent. Boogie Woogie is crap. You'll need a scorecard for the infidelity. You'll need a drink when it's over. You'll wonder how much bullshit was shoveled for so many good actors to be in a piece of shit like this.