Before I begin I want to make it clear that I’m
not reviewing a trailer. Trailers are advertising and it would be the
equivalent of me reviewing a commercial for a steak dinner as opposed to
an actual dinner. What’s the point? It was a
trailer that’s encouraged me to write some ramblings about a phenomenon
that is plaguing Hollywood. I honestly thought the day would arrive
where this phenomenon would be out of the worlds cinemas and be a small
asterisk in a ledger. I’m overreacting, of course,
but I had hoped that the remake happy Hollywood machine would reel in
it’s crutch of attempting to “re-imagine” movies to make a few quick
bucks. Sadly, I’ve been wrong. It’s bigger and better than ever and
continues to fill screens every summer… and fall…
and winter… and spring. And the trend is only increasing.
The ugly truth about remakes is that they are
quick cash grabs for the studios. The foundation of your film is there
and all you have to do is fill it in to deliver at least eighty minutes
of screen time. It doesn’t have to be coherent,
funny, scary, thought provoking, or GOOD. There’s no need for quality
because the studio is going to recoup its investment quickly and
quietly, sneaking out of town like a carnival hawker in the dead of the
night, pockets filled with cash. You see, the great
thing about remakes is that they already have a built in audience and
if you can sucker 50% of them to drop their money for a ticket, you’re
in. Then there’s people curious because of name recognition. Let’s get
some of their money, too. The key is to get
that money before word of mouth circulates and the movie is branded as
garbage. And those who skipped out are assured to check it out on home
video.
So why do
we go see them? Are we forever optimistic that we'll get the same
feeling that we had when we saw the original? Are the youth of the
world, lacking definitive films to hold on to being forced into taking
the scraps from earlier generations of film? It's hard to say. I don't
have the answer and will admit to being snookered before (A Nightmare on
Elm Street). The plot is there, but the soul is dead. Why am I
bothering to watch this when I could be watching the original, superior
film.
Are
there good remakes? Yes, particularly John Carpenter's The Thing and
David Cronenberg's The Fly. I am a fan of Zack Snyder's Dawn of the Dead
remake, but I would not put it in the same league as George Romero's
original vision. But for every one of those films there's another 20
remakes that are garbage. My only explanation for it, citing Carpenter
as an example, is that there is a love for the original source material
and he wanted to honor it as opposed to a regurgitated mass production.
By
now I'm sure you can guess what prompted this little tirade of mine. I
saw the Ghostbusters trailer last week. There's been controversy on both
sides. The gender swapping (that I feel is gimmicky, but that's Sony
Pictures for you) has caused some very hostile remarks. The thing is
that another Ghostbusters movie has been desired for a quarter of a
century and this isn't that movie. Does it necessitate the hostile
tweets and such? No, of course not. The thing is that now that we
tangible footage to look at you can make a preliminary judgement on this
reboot. I don't review trailers, but being that I have a film with so
much negativity associated with it, I would roll out a trailer with
enough scenes to impress my audience and convert some of the
non-believers. Let's just say it's not looking good.
I
believe it was Martin Scorsese that asked why we don't remake bad
movies. Polish them up and make them better than they were instead of
having the audacity of thinking we can do a better job. It's not the
quality, it's the quantity. I really would like to see some films that
wow me without being remakes or sequels or "cinematic universe" members.
Hit me out of left field. But there's no money in that.
