Hellraiser (1987) ****

Hellraiser is really the story of how being kinky can get you into trouble. The film opens with Frank Cotton (Sean Chapman) playing with a puzzle box surrounded by candles. We don't know what he's doing, only that it's probably not going to be pretty because the title of this film is Hellraiser, right? So he proceeds to open the box and begins his journey of experience the pains and pleasures of hell, brought to you by a band of tour guides called the Cenobites. Of course, all good things come to an end and the Cenobites think they have gained Frank's soul for their collection.

Enter Frank's brother Larry (Andrew "Scorpio" Robinson) and his wife Julia (Clare Higgins) who decide to move into the house that Frank completed his ritual and is virtually a disaster with each floor needing more work than the next. If Larry is really this cheap then it's no wonder his marriage is going down the toilet. I don't know if he was going to have Norm and the This Old House team come over and fix the joint up or what. So in the process of moving in, Larry cuts himself and drips blood on the floor of Frank's kinky room, fertilizing the little that is left of Frank's physical being that is hiding in the floor boards. Frank is back and so is the lust that Julia had for him (yep, they Tigered). The problem is that for Frank to be whole again he needs more blood and more bodies to make him a man again. That's when Julia agrees to help him by leading unsuspecting men to the kinky room and use them for spare parts while being discrete as not to arouse the suspicion of Larry or his daughter Kirsty (Ashley Laurence).

When people think of Hellraiser they think of Pinhead, all decked out in his Judas Priest gear,ready to give it to the hapless puzzle fan that played with his box. This first film is actually more about the human characters and how they interact in the situation they've fallen into. The Cenobites, poster children for this films, only appear in three sequences so be warned going into this if you're looking for some Pinhead action.

The thing about Hellraiser is not that's it's gory or even really that scary. It's just creepy as hell. The atmosphere reminds me of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which I feel the same way about. It's the atmospherics that get to you, not the actually action on the screen. Clive Barker creates this haunted house feeling, even though it's only haunted by the guy without skin in the spare bedroom.

Well acted, though there are some cringeworthy moments, Hellraiser is yet another first chapter in a horror series that has gone straight into the toilet during the last twenty years. Don't even bother with the others. This film isn't a masterpiece, but it is a very good horror film that leaves you with a ominous feeling throughout the picture. No, it won't tear your soul apart, but it will entertain you with it's extremely dark subject matter and good story.

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call= New Orleans (2009) ***1/2

When Bad Lieutenant begins we find New Orleans going through the cleansing that was Katrina and a young con with water up to his neck begging for help in his cell. In walks two cops (Nicholas Cage and Val Kilmer) who banter a bit and, we assume, are going to leave the poor con to die. But at the last minute Terrence (Cage) decides to hope in the murky water and save the prisoner. In the process of saving Terrence wrecks his back permanently, which leads to the main plot of the film- his dependence on drugs and how his hunt for the next fix coincides with his job as a detective.

Scratching the surface you may feel that the main plot is Terrence's investigation of a slain family of immigrants who were selling dope on someones turf. A basic crime story where the flawed cop is going to catch the bastards that did the deed. But that's not what Bad Lieutenant is about. Basically, it's about Terrence's addiction. The entire film is about him trying to score his next hit, with the murder case either taking a back seat to the action or being used as leverage in getting more drugs. In a nutshell, the movie is about scoring drugs and how over the edge or cop hero has jumped.

Cage is a borderline psychopath in this role, giving a performance that isn't the best of his career, but it's not the worst either. At times it feels like he's trying to hard, almost as if he's trying to resurrect his Leaving Las Vegas karma of self destruction. "Hey! Remember me! You gave me an Oscar once!". Eva Mendes continues being the bad guy's gal, building on the role she played in We Own the Night, that forgettable crime drama. What I found amusing was that the person that stuck out for me was an actor that wasn't in the film to long, Val Kilmer. He actually wasn't too bad in the role and will be my next pick for a Travolta like come back. Sure, he's difficult to work with, but director Werner Herzog dealt with Klaus Kinski so Kilmer had to be a cakewalk.

Overall the film is a little above ok. I haven't seen the original so a comparison isn't available but knowing that Harvey Keitel starred in that film it's going to be a toss up. The film does drag a bit, but Herzog helps us maintain a little interest as the story progresses. It's one of those one time films that you'll watch once and never have the inclination to watch again, not because it's bad, but because it's kind of forgettable. I will predict that a drinking game could develop where you take a shot whenever Cage's character ingests an illegal substance. Mark my words.