Antonio Bay is your typical water front town with all of its rich, vibrant history and colorful characters. The town is getting ready to celebrate it's 100th anniversary. Little does anyone know is that the towns founding was built on broken promises and murder. Tonight is the night for that revenge as a fog bank rushes into town, not causing a couple of fender benders and a terrible night for catch. This is a fog that carries those poor souls that were screwed over by the founders of Antonio Bay and boy are they upset.
The Fog is John carpenter's follow-up to Halloween and in many ways it follows the basic premise of that film in that this is a film that takes a generalized legend and builds a story around it. Halloween was basically about The Bogeyman and The Fog is about those sea legends that abound coast towns east and west. It's a simply film about a simple town populated by simple people such as the town priest (Hal Holbrook), the local DJ (Adrienne Barbeau), the town cheerleader (Janet Leigh), the town playboy (Tom Atkins), and who can forget the town drifter (Jamie Leigh Curtis).
It's a basic ghost story film that is really interesting, yet fails at times , especially as we get closer to the ending. It doesn't stand up to Halloween, but it is a film that will keep your attention as the fog rolls into Antonio Bay. It's not perfect, but The Fog is an entertaining thriller.
Another entry into the early 1980's horror genre, Happy Birthday To me follows Virginia (Melissa Sue Anderson) and her group of friends who start getting killed off one by one in this lovely body count film from the people that brought you My Bloody Valentine. Poor Virginia has that age old problem of repressed memories and these images start coming to her just as her friends start dying in ways only available with latex and corn syrup.
Not as bloody as its brethren of the era, this film is more psychological than gory horror as Virginia continues to crack up time and again. And guess who her doctor is? It's Glen Ford! What the hell is he doing in this garbage? Everyone needs a check. That's what this film is- garbage. A cheap exercise in cashing in on Halloween and Friday the 13th that fails to captivate like those movies did. This movie isn't even Prom Night. It's a little long for what it's worth and there is no real pay off throughout the film. Trans Am enthusiasts will be in awe over the 1976 T/A that says Turbo in the rear spoiler, yet has a standard shaker. Yeah, I know.
Jonah Hex is almost like the little engine that could.It tries so hard to be a good movie, yet it fails to deliver. The film stars Josh Brolin as the title character, a scarred bounty hunter hired to stop his arch nemesis Quentin Turnbull (John Malkovich) and his plans to bring down a reign of terror on the United States. With his trusted prostitute Lilah (Megan Fox) Jonah uses his powers of talking to the dead to stop whatever evil has in store.
Deep down I feel that this movie could have been so much better than the finished product. Obviously, the script is what fails in this film. It clocks in 81 minutes, telling us that this was a rush job. there was no care in making this movie, just throw Brolin and Malkovich at each other and let her rip. The dialogue that we get is beyond terrible. The story is so full of holes and jumpy that it just feels empty, like something is missing. Megan Fox isn't horrible in this, but she isn't great either. Be it her acting or the script, we'll leave that one up in the air.
Jonah hex does have its moments here and there, although don't be surprised if you hate it. It's far from a good movie but it is an interesting take on the western genre. Enter this at your own risk.
When Nate (Jason Mewes) and Kate (Samantha Lockwood) go into a jewelery store to buy a ring all hell breaks loose in a confusing and dull film that I can only describe as what happens when morons try to make Pulp Fiction. This movie clocks in at a little over 80 minutes. 80 minutes is the length for a film to officially be considered a feature. Watching the movie you can see where they padded to push that extra fifteen seconds out to make a full length film. The bad part about it is that it feels like 180 minutes. It's a mish mash mosh of nothing that falls on its face in the first few minutes. This movie is bad. bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. With a capital B.
I am not a fan of the original 9 1/2 Weeks, the film that made the term Skinemax an American institution of Pay TV naughtiness. It was soft core smut with a doily for a plot.
It's no surprise that its sequel is an even worse piece of garbage than the original film. This is a film where they obviously said "We can get Mickey Rourke cheap!" The film follows John (Mickey Rourke) as he obsesses over Kim Basinger's character from the first film. He goes to an art sale in Paris where he meets Lea (Angie Everhart), an associate of his true love who knows too much about him and obviously wants to get it on with Johnny. Cat and mouse ensues featuring fully clothed sex scenes. Yeah.
From a script that is thrown together crap and acting that is just above a five year old reciting lines from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory this film doesn't even deserve to be made, let alone viewed by the public. Rourke is a shell of an actor and the face to show it. if you feel like you're getting old check out Mickey in Angel Heart, then compare to this flick, then wrap it up with Iron Man 2. There is no grace in that movement. Angie Everhart can't act her way out of a paper bag. She's an eye candy actress, which is why she got the role in this clap trap. The problem is that she has to have lines and that's where the failure comes into play.
This movie is a good laugh from time to time. I left to use the bathroom and returned to a naked woman on an over sized roulette wheel getting wax poured on her. I could of checked into the explanation, but who cares. I just wanted to get it over with. Avoid this film at all costs.
George Romero has spent a lifetime telling us the story of the day that the dead walked the earth. The original Dead trilogy (Night of, Dawn of, and Day of) are all classic films in a genre Romero literally created. There is more to them than brainless zombies consuming what's left of humanity. They're character pieces. How will certain people react to a situation like this. These are great movies.
The last few Dead films from Romero have been lacking in the story or just the way they were made and the director has rounded out another trilogy of zombies with Survival of the Dead, a film that off shots from Diary of the Dead and represents something closer to Romero's original commentary style.
The film begins on an island where one group is exterminating anyone who has become the undead while the other segment of the small population believes that they can be trained and saved. Eventually the leader of the pro-killing group is expelled from the island . In the meantime a rogue group of military personnel are looking for a place to hole up and stumble on this old man and his party robbing people and sending them to the island, because "they hate strangers". They return to the island and begin a struggle to determine who will be the dominate group of the island itself.
The film is a very basic premise and delivers its message that seems focused on our own belief systems. It's all there in black and white and as happens in most of these films, no one wins in the end. Except possibly the zombies. The main problem with the film is that there isn't much build-up. Most movies over do it to the extreme, whereas Survival of the Dead seems to be running too fast to its conclusion. It could have been built a little slower and a little better.
Otherwise, this is a Romero film and it is still light years ahead of some of the slop coming out today. Anyone can do a zombie movie. Only George Romero can do a thought provoking film that just happens to have flesh eating dead people running around.
Abner Meecham (Hal Holbrook) is old school. His ideas and ways of thinking are his own and progress isn't going to change that one iota. The thing about old school is that it gets put out to pasture to eventually die and rot. That's what happened to Abner, shipped off to a nursing home to wait for his heart to give out. But being the old school kind of guy that Abner is he packs his suitcase and walks back to his farm; his home. It's at home that he realizes how far out to pasture he has been dumped because his farm is really his anymore. His son has leased it to Lonzo Choat (Ray McKinnon), an individual that Abner had little use for to begin with. Choat and his family are trying to make a start with something, though it's unclear whether Lonzo has the skill and drive to get anywhere with being a farmer. It's a kind of role reversal with Lonzo taking the main house and Abner refusing to leave the old sharecropper's shack because this is his home.
What That Evening Sun boils down to is a pissing contest between Abner and Lonzo. For Abner it was enough for his son to lease the place out from under him, but to this piece of trash it was a pure betrayal. In Lonzo's eyes Abner is still the same stuck up old fool that isn't willing to give him a chance and move on. It's time for him to be somebody instead of a drunken joke of a man. These two men banter back and forth trying to find a way to push each other over the edge and claim what they believe is theirs by rights. The sad part of the whole affair is that Chaot's wife (Carrie Preston) and daughter (Mia Wasikowska) are caught in the middle, balancing a drunken husband/father and a cynical old man out back.
At the core of That Evening Sun is what is their to hope for? Are either of the sides in this pissing contest right? Does one deserve their prize over the other? Does deserve even have anything to do with it? In the end it isn't even about the farm. It's about who the competition represents. Holbrook and McKinnon play out their fierce struggle not with fists or weapons, but with words and a few actions that get close to the edge but never quite go over. They play off each other perfectly.
The film could be about a great many things. Holding onto the old traditions. Passing the torch. What it boils down to is who believes they're owed that torch more. Each player has a hand on the bat, but neither are willing to let go. This is a nice film shot in those Tennessee farmlands that I just drove through a few weeks ago, though this film captures a lot more of the spirit as compared to my view from the highway and the Stuckey's. Holbrook is the core of this film and delivers a performance that will be akin to the other aging actors that have started playing the ages in recent years. A very good film that you've probably never heard of.
I'm not going to waste a lot of time on this. It's one thing to do parodies of epics or horror movies, but this is a movie making parodies of comedies. How the hell do you satirize satire? The 41 Year Old Virgin proves you can't. Take any Judd Apatow related film from them last five years, get some bad actors, find a 9 year old to write the script and you have this fucking awful film. Thank god it was a freebie.
Young Dorian Gray (Ben Barnes) has come home to take over the household he was once tortured in. He meets an artist. He meets a lord (Colin Firth).He makes a deal with the devil where his evil goes into a painting of himself and he'll live forever. He turns into Wilt Chamberlain. The end.
This is an excruciatingly dull film that goes nowhere other than Dorian's pants. It's almost an exercise in seeing how long you can stand watching this film that is steeped in jack the Ripper references but ends up going nowhere. I never read the original story but this film version is a boring two hour endeavor that eventually comes to the predicted climax. An honest to god waste of time.
The Killer Inside Me is a film that when it works works great, but when it stumbles it falls flat on its face breaking its nose and glasses. I pulp noir story centered in the middle of nowhere, the film is about Deputy Lou Ford (Casey Affleck), a public servant that appears to be a by the book kind of guy, doing his duty in the small town that needs him. What people don't see is that Lou is a troubled soul with demons in his past that are finally ready to boil over into his everyday life. This all starts when he's asked to remove a local prostitute (Jessica Alba) from town because of her indiscretions with a prominent businessman's son. Lou gets involved with her. Then an idea for revenge springs up. And then the demons appear and send Lou's life and sanity spiraling out of control.
The first half of the film has all of its ducks in a row as we see Lou degenerate from local savior to psychotic killer. The story could border on parody but doesn't and leaves a grim sense to the viewer that blends very nicely with the construction of the film. It's in the second half that the film falters into a mess that culminates in an ending that is executed in such a messy and unbelievable way that it almost ruins the picture.
Highly violent and provocative The Killer Inside Me is a nice piece of small town noir that builds to a climax that never arrives. It goes from being a great sleeper film to being filed away in movies you'll forget in a month.
