Dorian Gray (2009) *1/2

Young Dorian Gray (Ben Barnes) has come home to take over the household he was once tortured in. He meets an artist. He meets a lord (Colin Firth).He makes a deal with the devil where his evil goes into a painting of himself and he'll live forever. He turns into Wilt Chamberlain. The end.

 This is an excruciatingly dull film that goes nowhere other than Dorian's pants. It's almost an exercise in seeing how long you can stand watching this film that is steeped in jack the Ripper references but ends up going nowhere. I never read the original story but this film version is a boring two hour endeavor that eventually comes to the predicted climax. An honest to god waste of time.