Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Furry Vengeance (2010) 1/2

I was looking at some trivia for Furry Vengeance and noticed that Steve Carell was attached to this film at one time, but stepped away to do something else. Steve, you are one lucky bastard. You missed out on what is easily on of the worst films of the year. This is a movie so awful it deserves to be sent to either the bottom of some sea trench, never to be seen again or shot into the sun, burned in amazing flames as it draws nearer and nearer. We can forget that this ever happened and gain something to watch that would be much more enjoyable than the film itself. If they handed out statues of just Oscar's ass then this would win top prize.

The plot: a developer (Brendan Fraser) heads out to the sticks to destroy a forest and replace it with a sub division. The animals get pissed and go to war, the end. Simple plot. Something we've seen before. How can you screw this up? Oh, ladies and gentlemen, you can screw this up. You can bathe it in toilet water. You can pour gasoline on it and pray that in some small way nature will do the rest so that you don't have that responsibility hanging over your head. 

So how do you screw this up? This is a kids film? How can you blow a kids film? The way you screw up a film like this is the animals are not very approachable. You never root for the animals because they appear as sadistic as they act. Think about Bugs Bunny for a minute. He does some sick things to people, heinous things that would have him locked up with Hannibal Lecter and Paris Hilton. The thing is that he gets away with it because he's Bugs Bunny. He's likable. You can root for Bugs to cause Yosemite Sam to shoot himself in the head. The animals in Furry Vengeance do not have that going for them. They almost looked diseased in a way, like they're dead inside. Hell, maybe it's bad CGI but when you lose the audiences sympathy to the animals plight you might as well be making a You Tube video. It's a failure.

I wish that I could say that at least kids will like this one, but they don't. There are more interesting things for children available, like Civil War documentaries and watching the grass clippings turn brown. I started this film with five people and I was the only one left either in the room or awake by the earth shattering climax of this film. This is a crap film that is a pure, dismal failure. Enjoy.

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