Monday, June 8, 2009

Surfer Dude (2008) 1/2

Ah, the holy grail of Matthew McConaughey shirtless flicks. I'm not even going to go over the plot of this film because there is no plot. There's just this massive, disemboweled thing quivering on screen for 75 minutes (there's 10 minutes of credits and goat footage at the end. I shit you not). This film is so horrible that if someone had shown it to a prisoner at Gitmo then said person showing this film would justly be put on trial for crimes against humanity. Yes, this movie is an unholy thing that needs to be purged from society at once. Gregory Peck should stab this fucking thing at the altar to make sure there are no sequels. I've caught myself drooling since watching this film, not that I'm hot for the stars bod, but I've been rendered brain damaged by this steaming piece of shit film. I'm learning to use the left side of my body again and I've almost stopped shitting my pants. This film kills more brain cells than Lee Harvey Oswald.

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