Before I get started I have to say that G.I. Joe was my favorite toy during my childhood. I was like Ronald Reagan was not only funding national defense in real life, he was also pouring money into my toy box to fight our own evil empire known as Cobra, the coolest terrorists on earth.
Finally, after 25 years, the little plastic guys with swivel arms get their own movie. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is about a group of international tech savvy soldiers grouped together to pull off the impossible missions and save the world on a daily basis. The main plot of the story are the four warheads that can eat cities and continually changes hands throughout the film. The warheads are products of MARS industries, headed by James McCullen (Christopher Eccleston), a pissed off Scottish guy who has decided to use his products to create a new world order with himself in charge. With the help of Storm Shadow (Byunh-hung Lee) and his flame the Baroness (Sienna Miller) McCullen and his army of Nano Troopers and the mysterious "Doctor" the group sets out on their operation of world domination. It's up to G.I. Joe to stop them.
What's up with this summer being full of stuff from the 1980's. We had the Transformers sequel. We had the death of Michael Jackson which has led to an onslaught of CD's, radio airplay, and parachute pants unrivaled since new Coke was introduced. Now we get G.I. Joe. Now I'll be honest- I had little faith in this film. The previews made it look like a dismal failure, something that should have been marked direct to video sitting next to the newest Val Kilmer flick. I did have high hopes for Snake Eyes (Ray Park) and was not disappointed because he does most of the work in the picture. Everyone else is using gadgets and playing arm chair solider while Snake is being drug under a car and being the ass kicker we always knew he was. Most of the characters are your typical action film stereotypes: the gruff leader General Hawk (Dennis Quaid), the rebel who ends up caring Duke (Channing Tatum), the comic relief Ripcord (Marlon Wayans), the super intelligent never lost a fight girl Scarlett (Rachel Nichols). Typical. Of course the bad guys are more interesting.
The film is a summer action flick. You can't go in expecting the Dark Knight or anything close. This is a movie where you go in and watch stuff blow up for two hours. Sure, the plot's ridiculous, but do you remember some of the cartoons? I took the time to review such gems as The Pyramid of Darkness, The Weather Dominator, and Arise, Serpentor, Arise and I have to tell you that this plot is tame compared to those oldies. Sure, this one has an underwater base beneath the polar ice cap, but remember that giant temple that went up and down in the sand? If you like stuff blowing up, sexy women in leather outfits shooting guns, and ninjas then you'll love G.I. Joe. Even if you never had a figure in your life. If you don't then your wife/girlfriend/life partner will be taking you to see Julie and Julia, which I'm sure doesn't have the leather chicks with guns or ninjas, which is a shame.
Of course the fanboys like myself will be complaining about this film "raping" their childhood like it was Ving Rhames in a pawn shop and I will admit I was disappointed in some of the directions they took with these beloved characters of my youth. Just ignore that going and and remember that all of that was 25 years ago. Sure I prefer the old school stuff, but this movie is directed at 8 year old boys in 2009 not 8 year old boys in 1985.
And now you know.
And knowing is half the battle.
Half Blood Prince is Harry Potter's balancing act. The bespectacled wizard battles his hormones on one hand while carrying the burden of being the chosen one on his back. In this installment the Death Eaters are causing havoc throughout the land. Meanwhile Harry (Daniel Radcliffe) and his buddies are going through such tasty morsels as spin the bottle etiquette while seeing their world unravel.
Half Blood Prince is terrific eye candy with some great effects that pull you into the world of Hogwarts. The cast is the same as last time with the young stars we've seen grow up standing side by side with some of the greatest British actors alive, with the addition of Jim Broadbent as Professor Slughorn.
The problem with Half Blood Prince is its pacing. I've never read any of the books so I can't comment on what made the final script but the film feels a little crammed. Sitting through the film it just seemed to be filled with holes that could have been filled and plot points that seem rushed toward the the final resolution of the film. Perhaps this film is the reason they decided to split up the final film. That and double the money of course.
Overall the film delivers what it promises, but it just feels like it lacks something. It delivers as a Harry Potter film, but that's about it. Entertaining, yet it feels slightly thrown together when you review it in your head.
Every since The Exorcist came storming into theaters with its pea soup vomit and 360 degree head turns a blazing the slightest use of the word "exorcist" or "exorcism" always conjures up images of Linda Blair tied to a bed screaming at Father Merrin to f**k Father Karras. Over thirty years after that monumental film we get The Exorcism of Emily Rose, a film that features yet another possessed girl and another trouble priest, though this time the film goes about telling the story in a vastly different way as compared to The Exorcist.
The film opens with the police coming to a rural farm house to investigate the death of Emily Rose (Jennifer Carpenter). When they arrive they find Father Moore (Tom Wilkinson) and begin asking him question pertaining to her death, which appears to be ghastly, painful, and inhumane. As one thing leads to another Father Moore is arrested and put on trial for the death of Emily Rose through neglect and mis information (which is one of the plot holes I found in the film- why weren't the parents on trial with him I have no idea). Moore ends up with a hot shot defender Erin Bruner (Laura Linney) who is a little too good at her job and has to carry the weight of keeping evil men out of jail on her shoulders. The subsequent trial is less about saving Father Moore but more about telling Emily's story and letting people know what she did and how there is evil in the world.
The first comparison is going to be with The Exorcist and it obviously is not as good as that film. That is the standard bearer and will probably never be topped in it's sheer terror and creepy feel it holds throughout. It's really not fair to compare the two when you get to the meat of the comparison. The Exorcist is a pure horror film. Emily Rose feels more like a John Grisham novel with a way out there premise. It's more of a courtroom drama than a horror film and isn't really as scary or gory as you may be led to believe. It's more about suspense. It keeps you interested, ready for that cat to jump through the window or the ironing board to fall from the closet. It never does, but you're ready for it. The fact there aren't that many scares keeps you on the edge waiting for them to show up because we all know how horror movies work.
The acting of the main three cast members is superb with Wilkinson, Linney, and Carpenter falling into the respective roles. Campbell Scott plays the prosecutor and I just don't buy his performance. They picked him for a reason, yet he seems to be a terrible prosecutor who should probably be defending traffic court instead of a high profile case such as this one. Director Scott Derrickson is adequate at directing the film, though he strangely gets better when he's working in the dark. Like I said, he gets you to feel the scare that you just know is around the corner.
Of course The Exorcism of Emily Rose is going to get blasted by the tons of horror fans pulled in by the title and not getting the product they thought they were getting into. Instead of a blood fest it is actually a suspense film that keeps you entertained as long as you avoid the plot holes throughout. It's above average for the genres it represents but nothing to spectacular beyond that.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen follows the continuing adventures of those wacky Autobots and Decepticons as they continue their intergalactic battle for stuff. The Autobots are now working for the U.S. government (which never did Superman any good) as they hunt down their enemies around the globe. They're up to something, but what? Convienetly there seems to be yet another power source on earth even grater than the Hellraiser cube that was fried in the first film. Throw in everyone else from the first film (except Jon Voight) and you get a trans continental action-adventure that is choke full of those Transformers that we played with as kids.
Now I know there's a lot of bashing being thrown at this movie. I'll be the first to admit that it's far from perfect, though it is understandable that all of the government backed Transformers are disguised as government backed automobiles. The acting sucks. All around. No way around it. Don't want to get into it. And of course Michael Bay's direction is like smashing a Playstation 3 game and a car commercial into one. There's no soul in it.
But what is Transformers 2? I had someone explain it to me very short, sweet, and to the point. "It's about fighting robots from the '80's," he said. And for some unknown reason it made the movie better. This isn't Bergman, Kubrick, or Scorsese. This is pure, brain dead entertainment. It's junk food for the brain. It's the cinematic equivalent of cotton candy. And when you look at it like that it works. It's entertaining! I honestly liked it better than the first one because it goes right into the ass kicking. Sure it's predictable as hell, but you still sit there watching the mayhem and loving every minute of it.
Sometimes your mind needs potato chips too.
Considering that Public Enemies stars two of the biggest actors in movies and its directed by Michael Mann, who brought us that masterpiece called Heat, the film is a disappointment. The film follows John Dillinger (Johnny Depp) as he becomes public enemy number one and gets the VIP treatment from the infant FBI in the form of Special Agent Melvin Purvis (Christian Bale). Along the way Dillinger falls in love with a coat check girl (Marion Cotillard), robs some banks, gets shot at, repeat. Which is the main problem with Public Enemies- it's just running in circles chasing its tail. Imagine The Godfather or Good Fellas if the entire film was shooting and getting shot at. There's plenty of gravy, but no meat in this film. It just sits there and presents itself without any real plot movement. You would think with the size of the production and the names associated with it they could have made something better than a History Channel special, but that's about all you get with this one- just with better actors.Which is what salvages the film somewhat. Depp is very good as John Dillinger and throws off the swagger of someone that the entire nation is trying to capture and kill, but they just can't get it right. Is he our generations Brando? Maybe. Bale is also good as Purvis, yet he's underused. His character tends to appear when needed and disappears when there's no need for him. Marion Cotillard tends to steal the film, though. She definitely outshines Bale and tends to one up Depp on several occasions. Who knew in a paint by numbers gangster film like this one that the female lead would be the highlight, but she is.You have to wonder what Michael Mann was thinking since he not only directed this but had a hand in writing the script, which as I said earlier is equal to an episode of Unsolved Mysteries. There's no flair in the script and none in the direction either. Mann, who has wowed us with his shootouts in other films, gives us action sequences that are not as spectacular as things I've seen on You Tube. Could he be losing his touch, especially after that bastardization called Miami Vice?
There's nothing like a movie where Alan Rickman plays a total dick. He's a genius at it. No one comes close to what I refer to as "Rickman Dickery". He's an artist. Rembrandt worked in paints and Rickman works in being an asshole. Nobel Son is no exception with the Rickman playing Eli Michaelson, a chemist who has just won the Nobel Prize, pushing his ego even further into the stratosphere. What seems like good fortune for Michaelson soon sours as his son Barkley (Bryan Greenberg) is kidnapped and held for his fathers $2 million prize. Of course Eli isn't going to hand over his money so easily, but this gets muddled by taking a simple plot and turning it into a convoluted mess. And that is the problem with Nobel Son. What was a simple plot that could have been played for great laughs, the film suddenly launches into too many sub plots: family trees, psych wards, stolen formulas, etc. The second half of the film becomes a road map to hell as you try to keep the plot straight and even after seeing it through there is no real answer to some of the more pressing questions in the film.Rickman is awesome, of course, but the rest of the cast is a little ho-hum. Sure Danny DeVito is in this, but it's mainly a cameo. Bill Pullman pulls off the role of a smarter than average cop with the same success he would have playing Princess Diana. Mary Steenburgen does give the audience one glimmer ray of hope in an otherwise dud cast. I don't know if Nobel Son tries too hard or too much, but the film collapses in its second half. This is mainly for Rickman fans. Others should steer clear.
You know that kid in high school that is obsessed with the unattainable girl that he'll never get in a million years, yet he keeps trying and somewhere in his mind he's getting close to attaining her affections, yet there is a wonderful girl in the wings ready to be his one? That's essentially what Two Lovers is about. Joaquin Phoenix plays a suicidal neighbor to Gweneth Paltrow's neighbor who is in love with a married lawyer in the firm she works for. Leonard (Phoenix) slowly develops a relationship Michelle (Paltrow) as she continues to lead a rough road that includes drugs, her disastrous relationship, and here need for Leonard as a crutch. Meanwhile Leonard is in a relationship with Vanissa (Sandra Cohen) the daughter of the man who is going to take over his fathers dry cleaning business. The relationship blossoms when Leonard realizes that he'll never have Michelle, but that all changes with a cell phone ringing.Two Lovers is predictable as hell. This thing wouldn't have been more predictable if I had written the damn thing. There are no curve balls or twists in this one- you see where its headed by the half way point. Too bad the entire thing is dull as hell. Leonard's life doesn't come of as pathetic, he's creepy. I can see that they were going for two pathetic characters getting together, but it just doesn't work because Phoenix and Paltrow have as much chemistry as oil and water. They just don't work together. Who am I kidding, the entire movie doesn't really gel. It's one big, dull mess that just drives you to screaming for the ending that we all know is coming anyway. It may sound like a marquee pair up but you may want to pass on this pathetic, cliched, sentimental film.
