The City Of Your Final Destination (2009) **

The City Of Your Final Destination is a flat, dull film that spends its entire running time sitting in neutral, refusing to go anywhere at all. Omar (Omar Metwally) wants to write an autobiography of a famed one hit wonder writer, but needs the authorization of the dead writers wife (Laura Linney), brother (Anthony Hopkins), and mistress (Charlotte Gainsbourgh). They send him a letter and refuse. Now this should be then end of the movie because you then write the unauthorized biography like Kittey Kelly. Omar's a nice guy and decides to travel to Latin America from Kansas and plead his case. The wife is quite cold, the brother is on his side, and the mistress falls in love. Conflict ensues. Oh, did I mention Omar already had a girlfriend (Alexandra Maria Lara).

There are two problems with this film. The first is that the script drags like the muffler of a 1983 Chevette. It just sits there like a great gob of slime, jiggling all over but not going anywhere. There are some nice scenes and some really bad ones. The premise of the film is inane in the facts that it wouldn't matter of he had their permission anyway. It's not like they offer up much help in the first place, other than showing him the gondola in the boathouse. And what about that title which has nothing to do with the film, unless you can tack it onto two of the supporting characters. I don't know if The Gondola was already taken or not, other than being a nice sandwich at Avanti's in Bloomington (shameless product placement). It's a weak story that tries to be an epic. An epic what? It's not quite a coming of age story and it's not quite a romance. It's just a movie. A boring one.

The second problem is in the acting. If you're going to cast Laura Linney and Anthony Hopkins in a movie please get a cast that can at least keep up with them. Some of these scenes are an embarrassment for the actors that have to share screen time with either of the two. Linney's character is rather cold so we don't miss her as much when she's off screen, put Hopkins' portrayal leaves us missing him when he's not there and we're left with the hacks. It's very painful to watch.


So other than a couple of decent performances in this film it's an overall waste of time. It's not the worst film I've seen in awhile, but it's not even close to being one of the best either. Weighing it totally, this film is a boring, forgettable piece that will probably be a minor asterisk in the careers of a couple of good actors and the peak for a couple of bad ones.