Miss March (2009) *

Guys in sex comedies are always running into obstacles when they're about to get laid. Remember Pee Wee's problem when he was about to meet Cherry Forever? How about Judge Reinhold being caught in the beating it moment by Phoebe Cates? What about humping an apple pie? Miss March opens with our hero Eugene (Zach Cregger) downing some shots as he plans to bed his high school sweet heart for the first time. Of course he runs to an obstacle which is falling down a flight of stairs and going into a four year coma. When he wakes up he finds out that sweet, innocent Cindi (Raquel Alessi) is Playboy magazine's Miss March. Spurred on by his horny friend Tucker (Trevor Moore) he begins his quest to... well, we really have no idea.

This movie wouldn't have been half bad if it had actually been funny. Yes, the guy defecates on himself from the coma, but how many times are we going to use that in the movie. On that note how in the hell can a guy in a coma go road tripping in the matter of days? What's up with the killer firemen? Why is the script as flimsy as toilet paper on chili night? And finally what is up with the current trend of having the ugliest looking guys being players? I have to harken back to Sex Drive where a guy that looks like a young Roger Ebert and dresses like Borat is the heir apparent to Wilt Chamberlain. Sure Tucker is shot down at the Playboy Mansion, but you would have to be some kind of masochist to even spend five minutes alone with this guy.

Miss March seems to try to strike the Girl Next Door lightning, with Fox going so far as mimicking the packaging of that original release. As I said earlier Miss March would have been a good sex comedy if it had actually been funny. It's not even a stupid funny, it's just like a bad taste in your mouth from drinking too much cheap beer- it tries to be the good stuff, but it's still just crap.