After that piece garbage that was Spider-Man 3 Sam Raimi returns with what is essentially a cousin to the films that became his calling card, The Evil Dead saga. Drag Me to Hell stars Alison Lohman as loan officer Christine, who's trying to get the big promotion, yet appears too meek to pull it off. When confronted with an old woman (Lorna Raver) who asks for another extension on her house, Christine uses this as an opportunity to show that she has the brass balls to shut someone out of their home. Well, it turns out that this is the wrong old, crazy broad to do that to because after a scene in the office and an attack in a parking garage where Christine has a button stolen it soon becomes apparent that Christine is now a victim of a curse that is slowly getting ready to drag her to hell.
Drag Me To Hell is a sort of hybrid between Evil Dead and Evil Dead II. Evil Dead was a genuine thriller that had little bits of comedy thrown into it, while its sequel tended to go slapstick almost to a Stooge level. Drag Me To Hell balances that all out. It's not particularly scary, but it doesn't seem to be meant as a jump out of your pants thriller. Most of the hilarity comes with the gross out scenes. Eyes popping out, corpses vomiting on people are met with an initial "ugh" but soon turns into a little chuckle over how over the top it really appears on screen. Most of the cast is alright, most being typical background actors you may have seen a few times before. What's nice about a film like this is that it doesn't take itself too seriously and keeps its running time in order. I for one am sick of sitting down to movies that are two hours plus and could have easily been cut to the 105 minute point.
In all, the film is a great little horror flick that doesn't really scare too much, but still keeps you enthralled with its pacing and shenanigans. It's not a perfect film by any means, but serves as something a little more original than remakes and sequels that the horror genre has been hammered with in recent years.
I've been sifting recent reviews lately (I know it's been a while) and have realized that most of these films have been crap. Pure crap. Now I can not give an honest review of Year One because I slept through half of it. Why did I do that? Because a) seeing these two guys meet someone who eventually screws them over seven times in a row tends to lead to vomiting and drowsiness and b) the film really isn't that funny. If you've seen History of the World Part One (not Mel Brooks' best) you've seen a good portion of this with a cast just as great. The problem with Year One is that it just isn't funny.
Guys in sex comedies are always running into obstacles when they're about to get laid. Remember Pee Wee's problem when he was about to meet Cherry Forever? How about Judge Reinhold being caught in the beating it moment by Phoebe Cates? What about humping an apple pie? Miss March opens with our hero Eugene (Zach Cregger) downing some shots as he plans to bed his high school sweet heart for the first time. Of course he runs to an obstacle which is falling down a flight of stairs and going into a four year coma. When he wakes up he finds out that sweet, innocent Cindi (Raquel Alessi) is Playboy magazine's Miss March. Spurred on by his horny friend Tucker (Trevor Moore) he begins his quest to... well, we really have no idea.This movie wouldn't have been half bad if it had actually been funny. Yes, the guy defecates on himself from the coma, but how many times are we going to use that in the movie. On that note how in the hell can a guy in a coma go road tripping in the matter of days? What's up with the killer firemen? Why is the script as flimsy as toilet paper on chili night? And finally what is up with the current trend of having the ugliest looking guys being players? I have to harken back to Sex Drive where a guy that looks like a young Roger Ebert and dresses like Borat is the heir apparent to Wilt Chamberlain. Sure Tucker is shot down at the Playboy Mansion, but you would have to be some kind of masochist to even spend five minutes alone with this guy. Miss March seems to try to strike the Girl Next Door lightning, with Fox going so far as mimicking the packaging of that original release. As I said earlier Miss March would have been a good sex comedy if it had actually been funny. It's not even a stupid funny, it's just like a bad taste in your mouth from drinking too much cheap beer- it tries to be the good stuff, but it's still just crap.
The year is 1985. The United States won the war in Vietnam. Richard Nixon is in his fifth term as President. The St. Louis Cardinals have won the World Series (oh, that actually happened). And in this alternate 1985 costumed superheroes have been outlawed, existing for the last forty years and helping change those little historical tid bits I listed above (except the World Series). Watchmen explores this odd 1985 that is filled with retired superheroes and a world on the brink of nuclear annihilation. The film opens with the death of Edward Blake, also known as the Comedian, a retired costumed superhero who is beaten to death in his home. The rebelious Rorschach (Jack Earl Haley) who sports a mask that chnages into- you guessed it- Rorschach images. As the film progresses other former superheroes such as Nite Owl (Patrick Wilson), Ozymandias (Matthew Goode), Silk Spectre (Malin Akerman), and Dr. Manhattan (Billy Crudup) are pulled into a shceme that proves to be much bigger than the simple murder of a former member of their clan.The Watchmen aren't like a Justice League or X-Men. Excluding Dr. Manhattan they have no real super human abilities other than they can kick your ass better than anyone else. Dr. Manhattan is another story all together. If God created man then man created a God on Earth when our good doctor was irradiated in some Marvelesque experiment. He can do anything. Nothing hurts him. He is perfection.With Watchmen director Zack Snyder (Dawn of the Dead, 300) has the daunting task of putting writer Alan Moore's masterpiece on the big screen. A daunting task considering that Watchmen and The Dark Knight Returns are considered the old and new testaments of comic lore. The film is a political statement for 1985 with Snyder wisely avoiding updating the film to present times that drug down Moore's other adaptation from this era V For Vendetta. I've never read the graphic novel so I have no idea how that piece compares with the film other than what people have told me which is the usual "they left a bunch of stuff out". The movie's two hours and forty minutes long: you have to expect the studio to try to make some money back. Snyder does get a good flow in the film, though some bits do seem rushed in the long run.I have to say that Watchmen wasn't the earth shattering experience that we're led to believe is contained within its confines. As a comic book movie (excuse me, graphic novel) it is above average, mainly due to Moore's source material that plays more intelligently than the standard fare coming out of Hollywood. It's not anything great, but it is a very good film. Maybe I'll crack the comic book (graphic novel) sometime.
It's not very often that I get the privilege of seeing a film as terrible as Sex and Death 101. I thank everyone for the opportunity to see what crap looks like first hand and appreciate the effort that didn't go into this movie.
The film is about Roderick Blank (Simon Baker) who gets an email listing all of the women he has or will ever have sex with. So what does he do with this information? He proceeds to lay more pipe than a plumber while awing his friends at his sexual conquests. When it's finally revealed that Rodericks last conquest on his list is a Black Widowish killer Death Nell (Winona Ryder) it's almost a race to not get laid in this unfunny spectacle from director Daniel Waters.
The way the movie plays out is about as interesting as a late night infomercial about Spam. Here's the movie in a nutshell: Gets list, has sex, has sex, repeat one and two. If there was actually anything funny in the film it might have been interesting, but we're left with the same stupid quips and the screenwriters passion for films from 1971. Add to this the fact that this film is close to the two hour mark and you get a ridiculous beating to the head as the same schtick continues over and over again. The acting sucks, but not as bad as the screenwriting which tries to be high brow but ends up being just a low rent Skinemax screw movie.
Before I get started I have to say that G.I. Joe was my favorite toy during my childhood. I was like Ronald Reagan was not only funding national defense in real life, he was also pouring money into my toy box to fight our own evil empire known as Cobra, the coolest terrorists on earth.
Finally, after 25 years, the little plastic guys with swivel arms get their own movie. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is about a group of international tech savvy soldiers grouped together to pull off the impossible missions and save the world on a daily basis. The main plot of the story are the four warheads that can eat cities and continually changes hands throughout the film. The warheads are products of MARS industries, headed by James McCullen (Christopher Eccleston), a pissed off Scottish guy who has decided to use his products to create a new world order with himself in charge. With the help of Storm Shadow (Byunh-hung Lee) and his flame the Baroness (Sienna Miller) McCullen and his army of Nano Troopers and the mysterious "Doctor" the group sets out on their operation of world domination. It's up to G.I. Joe to stop them.
What's up with this summer being full of stuff from the 1980's. We had the Transformers sequel. We had the death of Michael Jackson which has led to an onslaught of CD's, radio airplay, and parachute pants unrivaled since new Coke was introduced. Now we get G.I. Joe. Now I'll be honest- I had little faith in this film. The previews made it look like a dismal failure, something that should have been marked direct to video sitting next to the newest Val Kilmer flick. I did have high hopes for Snake Eyes (Ray Park) and was not disappointed because he does most of the work in the picture. Everyone else is using gadgets and playing arm chair solider while Snake is being drug under a car and being the ass kicker we always knew he was. Most of the characters are your typical action film stereotypes: the gruff leader General Hawk (Dennis Quaid), the rebel who ends up caring Duke (Channing Tatum), the comic relief Ripcord (Marlon Wayans), the super intelligent never lost a fight girl Scarlett (Rachel Nichols). Typical. Of course the bad guys are more interesting.
The film is a summer action flick. You can't go in expecting the Dark Knight or anything close. This is a movie where you go in and watch stuff blow up for two hours. Sure, the plot's ridiculous, but do you remember some of the cartoons? I took the time to review such gems as The Pyramid of Darkness, The Weather Dominator, and Arise, Serpentor, Arise and I have to tell you that this plot is tame compared to those oldies. Sure, this one has an underwater base beneath the polar ice cap, but remember that giant temple that went up and down in the sand? If you like stuff blowing up, sexy women in leather outfits shooting guns, and ninjas then you'll love G.I. Joe. Even if you never had a figure in your life. If you don't then your wife/girlfriend/life partner will be taking you to see Julie and Julia, which I'm sure doesn't have the leather chicks with guns or ninjas, which is a shame.
Of course the fanboys like myself will be complaining about this film "raping" their childhood like it was Ving Rhames in a pawn shop and I will admit I was disappointed in some of the directions they took with these beloved characters of my youth. Just ignore that going and and remember that all of that was 25 years ago. Sure I prefer the old school stuff, but this movie is directed at 8 year old boys in 2009 not 8 year old boys in 1985.
And now you know.
And knowing is half the battle.
After that piece garbage that was Spider-Man 3 Sam Raimi returns with what is essentially a cousin to the films that became his calling card, The Evil Dead saga. Drag Me to Hell stars Alison Lohman as loan officer Christine, who's trying to get the big promotion, yet appears too meek to pull it off. When confronted with an old woman (Lorna Raver) who asks for another extension on her house, Christine uses this as an opportunity to show that she has the brass balls to shut someone out of their home. Well, it turns out that this is the wrong old, crazy broad to do that to because after a scene in the office and an attack in a parking garage where Christine has a button stolen it soon becomes apparent that Christine is now a victim of a curse that is slowly getting ready to drag her to hell.
