Leatherface (2017) *

Directed by Alexandre Bustillo and Julien Murphy. Starring Stephen Dorff, Lili Taylor, ,Sam Strike,  Vanessa Grasse, Finn Jones, Same Coleman, Jessica Madsen, and James Bloor.

                Of all the horror franchises that are out there, the one that has been literally treated like a victim in its films is the Texas Chainsaw Massacre series. How many times has this series been rebooted, re-imagined, or recycled? That would be a daring assignment to figure out with probably no real satisfaction at the end, just a slippery slope into further mediocrity. And when you’re about to land at the bottom of the barrel you do an origins film.

                Leatherface is a prequel to at least 2013’s Texas Chainsaw 3D, a terrible film in its own right. Now why do I say at least? Mainly because I see listings that associate this with the films in the franchise from 1974, 1986, 1990, and 1994 (that being The Next generation, a film thrown in the trash until stars Renee Zellweger and Matthew McConaughey hit the big time). Who knows? The film follows a young Leatherface from his early days of getting a chainsaw and gutting a fella at his fifth birthday party, which is slightly more painful than a trip to Chuck E. Cheese. Eventually the Sawyer clan, led by the matriarch Verna (Lili Taylor) push their meat harvesting activities too far and end up killing the sheriff’s daughter and the wee Leatherface is taken away to an asylum until he is old enough to do whatever he was going to do. I do wonder why none of the family members were arrested for the crime.

                We do a time jump and discover an asylum that is full of unscrupulous employees except for the new nurse Lizzy (Grasse). A riot breaks out and Lizzy is taken captive by Ike (Bloor) and Clarice (Madsen) as Jackson (Strike) and Bud (Coleman) go along for the ride. They go on a death race to nowhere while being chased by the same sheriff (Stephen Dorff) as we try to figure out which of these fugitives is going to wind up being the legendary killer Leatherface.

                Leatherface is your basic modern era horror film that tries to be coy with the reveal of who ends up being the legendary Sawyer, which is all this film has going for it. The characters are all boxed in stereotypes and the filmmaker’s poor attempts at making a plot twist backfires horribly. It will be solved before they even leave the hospital. It’s amazing how stupid characters can be written in a film and I understand that many of these individuals are deranged, but I don’t buy the idea that has the concept of self preservation at one moment, but they don’t at another integral scene. What makes this so difficult to understand is that these people act manic all the time, leading to a sort of cancelling themselves out. Even with the name Leatherface in bold letters to open the film, this is a poor paint by numbers horror film that is banking on the many past glories (and failures).

                I’m not big on reboots. I’m even less interested in origin stories, particularly with horror film icons. Rob Zombie made that mistake with his version of Halloween in that he gave us too much back story on the character of Michael Myers as opposed to Carpenter’s approach of the mysterious Boogeyman (I’m not counting the sequels, but comparing Halloween to Halloween). Leatherface pulls the same mistakes by giving us not only a back story that eliminates the mystery that a man in a mask has, but manages to do it with some of the worst concepts I’ve seen in a very long time. Honestly, the opening birthday scene could have been taken out of an issue of Cracked or Mad magazine. It’s totally ridiculous.

Slaughterhouse (1987) *1/2

Slaughterhouse (1987) *1/2 Directed by Rick Roessler. Starring Joe B. Barton, Don Barrett, Sherry Leigh, Bill Brinsfield, Jason Collier, Hank Gum, Jeff Wright, William Houck.

By 1987 the slasher genre of horror was starting to lose its stride, mainly descending into sequels of already established monsters committing mayhem throughout the countryside or the suburb. Apparently the makers of Slaughterhouse not only missed the memo on how horror films were progressing as the decade headed for its inevitable end, but they also decided to make no attempt at making anything new, otherwise relying on not only the standard tropes of horror films for the last decade, they out and out steal them.

The film does open with something unusual- the processing of pigs at a slaughterhouse. We get a nice look at the shocker and the saws and all of those fun things that go along with a slaughterhouse. Now I’m far from being a vegetarian and I also know that this is a horror movie, but this is a bit much to start with.

What the film amounts to is random people stumbling on the Bacon family’s slaughterhouse (Yes, I know the irony of them being called “Bacon”) and being wiped out by the resident psycho Buddy (Joe B. Barton), a large hulking man that snorts like a pig and eagerly uses his splitter to dispatch his victims. As progress has taken over the old slaughterhouse looks to be going to either sale or foreclosure the patriarch of the Bacon family Lester (Don Barrett) decides to use Buddy’s skills to take care of the people that he feels are trying to steal is property and livelihood from him, while forgetting that even by killing these people I’m sure that’s not going to stop the sale of the property for back taxes.

You probably get the idea of how the film progresses from this point. People get killed, other people look for them, and people stumble by and so on and so forth. There are attempts to make a deeper plot to Slaughterhouse, such as the deputy that is having an affair and the local Pig celebration that gets a half hearted build up and an even less enthusiastic execution. It’s your basic kill, kill, kill, which is fine if you have something new to say. Slaughterhouse doesn’t do that. If you have seen Texas Chainsaw Massacre or My Bloody Valentine you have seen this film as they are the two main victims to the theft that is the plot of Slaughterhouse.

Slaughterhouse was lost in a sea of horror slasher boogey men that were roaming the Cineplex’s and few remaining drive ins during the 1980’s. A C bill film in a genre that at the time was B level at best. There are a few parts that standout, such as one special effect and a line about being kosher before that effect, but this film winds up being a pedestrian endeavor at a horror film. Doing a bit of research shows that a sequel was planned and it was set up (ala Friday the 13^th), but that film never materialized. A person should wonder why there hasn’t been an attempt to re-make this film, especially after seeing the glut of horror films that fill or VOD streams (I watched this on Vudu for free). It would be the perfect film to polish up, make with very little money and put a few dollars in your pocket. Maybe that version would be a better film, but we’re talking about this film not an imaginary re-make. This film is mostly a waste of time and will be of interest only to people that have exhausted all of the other horror films that use the same formula.  

Thor: Ragnarok (2017)****

I’ve never really been a fan of Thor. I know this may make me a blasphemer, but I’ve never been much into the whole god’s thing or gladiators for that matter. You can probably add dragons to that list with the exceptions being Harry Potter and Bruce Lee. So it wasn’t really a shock that I wasn’t into the either of the first two Thor films. The only word that comes to mind when talking about those films is forgettable because I don’t really remember them. Maybe it’s just me, but they are the weak links in the MCU.

I have a feeling that the producers and creators of the third outing from the Son of Odin felt the same way because Thor Ragnarok really swerves into something that the previous films did not have. It’s an adventure that’s tongue in cheek, not taking itself too seriously, which is quite refreshing in the film landscape we have today.

Thor (Chris Hemsworth) returns from high adventure to find his father being mimicked by Loki (Tom Hiddleston) and forces him to find and return their dad to his rightful place. After a bit of cameo by Dr. Strange (Benedict Cumberbatch) that could have been awkward, but actually works in the tone of this film, they find Odin (Anthony Hopkins) preparing for his death and the eventual return of Hela(Cate Blanchett), the hell beast daughter who wants total control of Asgard, meaning she needs to get rid of her siblings. 

They’re sidetracked on a world that is dotted with junk and ran by The Grandmaster (Jeff Goldblum in full Goldblum mode) who uses Thor as a plaything to compete against his champion, The Hulk. Along with the fallen hero Valkyrie (Tessa Thompson) they embark on stopping Hela and regaining control of Asgard.

What’s great about Thor Ragnarok is that it veers off into territory that is rarely charted with success being even more fleeting. Instead of the typical comic adventure story, this time the camp button is pushed a little bit more than usual delivering a feel reminiscent of Flash Gordon or Big Trouble In Little China. The film is comedic without making the heroes and villains bumbling idiots, which is a tightrope act when making a movie such as this. Even though this is his third solo outing, Thor as a character feels as though he grows the most in this third chapter. He goes from being quite full of himself in the beginning to modesty as a leader during a tragic time for his people. Director Taika Waititi almost reboots the character into something more entertaining for the audience. 

The film doesn’t take itself too seriously and even keeps running during the Dr. Strange cameo by making the scene fun instead of the typical advertisement. “Hey, we have other superhero movies!” Sure, the scene wasn’t really needed, but it still works. It could have bogged down, but didn’t.  I had reservations seeing this film since I didn’t care for the first two, but this one surpassed my expectations. Thor Ragnarok has really set up a track for future films that makes them a bit more interesting and more importantly, a bit more fun. I dare say that at this point this is one of the best films from the MCU.

Logan (2017) *****

If there was a standard in films it's the unwritten rule (that was dropped in last years X-Men: Apocalypse) that the third film of a franchise is always the worst. No franchise has ever been able to break away from this tradition. I never thought I would see anything like that and that's why I'm a little bit shell shocked right now at how great a film Logan happens to be. This film is a revelation, an oasis in a desert of the tried and true comic book movie formula. Like last years Deadpool, Logan breaks the conventions and succeeds at several levels.

The year is 2029 and Logan (Hugh Jackman) is a chauffeur, saving up his dollars to buy a boat and live out his days on the high seas. Mutants are all but extinct with Logan having a safe house across the border in Mexico with a senile Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart) and albino tracker Caliban (Stephen Merchant) caring for the professor while Logan is away driving prom dates and bachelorettes around in the wee hours of the morning. When a woman mysteriously tracks Logan down and asks for help in taking a young girl named Laura (Dafnee Keen) to "Eden", a sanctuary for mutants that gets them into Canada and safety. They need Logan's help because they are being pursued by Pierce (Boyd Holbrook) and the corporation that has managed young Laura since her birth.

Director James Mangold almost had it with The Wolverine, but that film derailed in its last 20 minutes. With Logan he makes it to the finish line with a film that isn't all about explosions and flashy costumes. The film takes a swipe at the comics that furnished the characters and how ridiculous the stories contained within them. Logan is a character piece expanding between generations and the passing of the torch that occurs in our lives. Both Logan and Xavier are old and beginning to feel the pains associated with aging, like we all do. Jackman is Wolverine and always will be, but he goes beyond the typical Bub and one liners by bringing a raw emotion to the tole that hasn't been there before. The breakdown of everything he once had has worn him down along with time. The rest of the cast holds up to the subject matter that is well written and doesn't play the audience like idiots. As a story the film does take pieces from the graphic novel Old Man Logan, but has managed to break it down into something else, partly out of storytelling (where it succeeds) and partly out of not having access to all of the pertinent characters.

This is the movie Marvel wishes it could be. This is the movie DC once was (The Dark Knight). A gritty and realistic take on super heroes without the other worldly components. Logan is a film that borrows more from the western genre than the comic books where the characters were born. Shane is referenced heavily in this film as a man resists going back to what he once was only to be pulled back to it like the tides. Nature will always push you there. Logan and Shane are men cut from the same cloth. Add in the feel of The Searchers and you get a film that feels epic without blowing up a city. You just blow up someones life. If only other comic book films could be more like Logan and less like disaster porn. Where Stephen Spielberg compared comic book films to the westerns of old, Logan has embraced that identity fully. Films like this will keep the genre alive.

My son turned 16 a few months back. Thinking back tonight I realized that in all the franchises out there Hugh Jackman as Wolverine is the only consistent throughout his life. The actor and the character have become synonymous with each other and the idea that the next time you see that character on screen played by someone else is a heartbreaking proposition. I can only compare it to Christopher Reeve as Superman for me (By the time I was 20 we had had 3 Batmen) and the attempts to recast that role in the years since have always led me to the finally verdict that "they were OK, but they aren't close to Reeve's Superman". Call it nostalgia or whatever, but that's what we have to face now. Hugh Jackman has (supposedly) stepped down from a wonderful run, though it had some low spots, he played the role with a relish rarely seen in today's franchised film world. Logan is a wonderful (possible) swan song for the man that has given us the original anti-hero in comic book cinema. We will all miss his take on the character and the permanent mark he has made on super hero films. This generation of the genre ultimately started with him and Logan manages to be the best super hero film I've seen in close to a decade.

John Wick: Chapter 2 (2017)***

John Wick: Chapter 2 does something that you usually don't see in sequels: it ties up loose ends from its predecessor. It's cool to see it, but is it really necessary? Nope. Not at all. I've never been more torn with an opening scene in retrospect. It's a great idea, but it adds to the bloat that this film already has.

Essentially that's what John Wick 2 represents . It's a film that continues the reluctant assassin story from the first film, but lumbers around much more than the sleek original film. Wick (Keanu Reeves) has just completed his out of retirement rampage and plans to withdraw back into the normal life he had created for himself. He barely gets a nights sleep when Santino (Ricardo Scamarcia) knocks on John's door demanding him to honor the marker he had used to get out of the business in the first place. Santino proves to be persuasive by blowing up John's home (the dog survives), forcing him to uphold his code and perform one final job.

John Wick is filled with action. Tons of it. Cargo ships loaded to capacity of it. What I'm saying is that 1. there's too much and 2. it gets repetitive. There are more double taps in this film than in most films from the last 20 years combined. The disposable henchmen tend to have hipster beards and man buns, making easily excusable fodder for Mr. Wick. The film continuously bombards you with these high octane action sequences to the point that they get kind of ridiculous. It makes the film dull and that is not what you want in an action film.

The only time the film finds itself is when the characters interact with more than fists and bullets. Ian McShane returns with another good performance, though some of his lines are drivel and you can almost see it on his face. Cassian, played by Common, was a great addition to the film. I was disappointed that he didn't have ,ore to do in this film. An underutilized asset. Of course there has been a ton of discussion about Laurence Fishburn and Reeves having a Matrix reunion of sorts. Hype it up to push the film it seems because the Fishburn role is quite disposable and bogs the last act of the film.Remove this and the opening sequence I discussed earlier and you go from a bloated 122 minutes to a tight and lean 105. Overboard isn't a good thing.

You can say that John Wick Chapter 2 is a disappointment and truthfully it really is. The performances are strong and carry the picture, but it's an overblown rehash of the first film. There's nothing new here; a shame after the first film was such a breathe of fresh air. There is a soft set up for a third film, which will probably show up in a few years, but how many more man bun double taps can an audience take?

Cannonball Run II (1984) *1/2

Cannonball Run II is the sequel to the 1981 coast to coast race film from Hal Needham and Burt Reynolds. Did you see that one? Then you've seen this one. It's a cartoonish romp with a collection of Las Vegas royalty and country stars. Yes, this is another on of those Burt Reynolds good ole' boy comedies.

Way over the top, Cannonball Run II is almost fun to watch. Almost. It's poorly written and the performances are strictly phoned in. Did Shirley Maclaine really follow up Terms of Endearment with this? Ugh. And Frank Sinatra's cameo? It's legendary in that the Chairman wasn't even there with the cast, yet appears in the blooper reel. Really? We can easily tell with the poor editing that they were not together. A poorly matched mess.

Far removed from Crosby and Hope, it's a road picture injected with steroids and over used '80's cliches. You can watch it, but the camp is turned up to eleven and all you get is a need to go on a real road trip. There isn't much left to say about it. It's just a bad movie.

Escape From Alcatraz (1979) *****

Representing the culmination of a decade long collaboration between director Don Seigel and perpetual 1970's Clint Eastwood Escape from Alcatraz is a very loose account fo the 1962 escape from the legendary prison located in San Francisco Bay.

The film opens with Frank Morris (Eastwood) being delivered to his new island home. He meets the hard ass warden (Patrick McGoohan) and delivers the speech to Morris about no one ever escaping Alcatraz and no one ever will. The film then follows Morris and his compatriots (Jack Thibeau, Fred Ward, and Larry Hankin) use their wits and the materials they have on hand to make their daring escape.

Shot on the actual island, the film has a washed out and bleak look that obviously mimics its location in the foggy and cold bay area. The order in these broken down buildings shows how the island has rotted away with time, but the cogs of justice have continued to turn no matter what happens. Clint Eastwood's performance is one of his best, on par with Josey Wales or Unforgiven. You are not watching Dirty Harry in this film as Eastwood leaves that persona before the opening credits roll. The performances throughout the film are filled with hopelessness and even characters not involved in the escape seem to perk up when it's even hinted at. It's like sun light breaking through the clouds for one solitary moment.

As a whole, the theme of the film is hope. All of the convicts are hopeless until Frank shows up and starts filling their minds with the possibility, the hope, of escape. Could there be a way out of Alcatraz that doesn't end in death? This is another '70's film that flipped the good guys and the bad guys. Once again, after Vietnam and Watergate, the nation lost confidence in its authority figures. In Escape from Alcatraz you are rooting for the cons to overcome the authority that keeps pressing its thumb down on them from the opening moments. It is a great film that is really an underrated masterpiece of the 1970's.